Best Wishes
by beautifully whimsical
Summary: What do you say to someone whose life you've impacted in a way you never expected? Sasuke/Sakura
1. The First Letter

Hello, this is my first story, so go easy on me.

I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.

Best Wishes

Chapter 1: The First Letter

Sasuke entered his apartment with a heavy sigh. It had been two months since his return to the hidden leaf village, and he had yet to see Sakura. Her absence hadn't been a problem at first. He was too preoccupied with trying to avoid getting lynched by the masses of angry villagers. They called him a traitor, and they were right. He had turned his back on all of them, on their teachings, and most importantly his friends.

However his friends had been quick to forgive him. Especially Naruto, he welcomed him with a fist to the face and a back-crushing embrace. Sasuke would never tell him, but his acceptance by the highly energized ninja meant the world to him. All the others just seemed to fall in line behind Naruto. Kiba, Shino, and Choji were speaking to him as if he'd never left. Ino welcomed him with open arms, and it was refreshing to see that she had outgrown her childhood infatuation. The only surprising reaction was from Shikamara. Sasuke would have figured that out of everyone his betrayal would have affected Shikamara the least, but his demeanor towards Sasuke had bordered on animosity whenever he saw him.

When all the commotion began to die down that's when he really began to feel the loss of Sakura's presence. He didn't worry at first because he figured she was just waiting to get him alone. He would never admit it to himself, but part of him really hoped that was the reason she hadn't come before him. Weeks passed and still she made no appearance. He wondered if maybe she wasn't in the village at all. Perhaps she was on a mission. Things began to get troubling when he asked his friends about her. They all dodged around the issue and told him not to worry about it.

At first he was frustrated, but than fear began to course though him. What if she had died? What if the reason nobody seemed to be able to talk about her was because she was no longer a part of the living world? As soon as those thoughts sprang forth he squashed them back down. There was no way Sakura was dead. Somebody would have said something, and some part of him felt that he would have felt something like that. He stopped asking about her for the next few weeks, but she was always in the back of his mind. He really needed to talk to her, out of everything he had left behind; she was the one he thought about the most.

A soft knock at the door interrupted his train of thoughts. When he answered the door there was no one there. In fact the only thing out of the ordinary was the faint scent of cinnamon lingering on his doorstep. As he turned to head back into his apartment, he noticed an envelope taped to the door that was addressed to him. He recognized the delicate cursive right away, even though he hadn't seen it in over six years. "Sakura."

He grabbed the envelope and shuffled clumsily back into the apartment. He went to his living area and sat on couch. For a few moments he was paralyzed. All he could do was stare at the writing, _To Sasuke._ He finally gathered his wits and opened the envelope. There were a few items inside and he grabbed the papers in front first. He unfolded the papers and began to read…

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I've cared for you more years than I'd like to admit, but you've always been completely _

_honest with me, so I'm going to return that courtesy. I don't remember a time that I wasn't _

_thinking about you. Even as children, before we understood about feelings, I adored you. People _

_thought it was superficial, that I only liked for what was on the outside, they couldn't have been _

_more wrong. The outside meant nothing to me, true you were easy on the eyes, but it was always _

_the sadness I saw in your eyes that drew me to you. Everyone said falling for you was just asking_

_for heartache. I didn't listen. I just felt that somewhere within the darkest recesses of your cold _

_exterior was someone just waiting to be loved._

_I took every opportunity to show you my feelings, and you shot down every attempt. I _

_was not deterred. I kept on trying until were reached a mutual understanding. I would shower _

_you with adoration and you would pretend I didn't exist. Maybe that's a little to harsh, you _

_would acknowledge me, but not really as a person. You dealt with me like I was something in _

_your way, something that was constantly getting in trouble, and something that needed your _

_protection. I can't say that you weren't right; looking back I really was a nuisance. I'm sorry for _

_giving you more work to do, but thank you. Without your protection, I would not have made it out _

_of many situations. _

_When you left, my heart shattered. No matter how much I begged you wouldn't be _

_swayed, but that is one of the many things I admire about you Sasuke. You had a promise to _

_fulfill, and nothing was going to stand in your way. I tried everything in my power to bring you _

_home, I was a wreak without you. Naruto felt so bad that he promised to bring you back to me, _

_no matter the cost. The funny thing was, you were never mine to begin with. As you delved _

_further into your revenge, I fell further into despair._

_Than something began happening to me. When it finally began to dawn on me that you_

_wouldn't be coming back, I slowly began to change. I became stronger, smarter….better. I think_

_that in the back of my mind I had deluded myself into thinking that on the off-chance that I met _

_you again, I could be the type of person you would be proud to associate with. Not just some_

_troublesome thing that gets in the way and needs protection, but a real human with depth and _

_emotions. After my life-changing transformation, something else happened in my life. Something_

_unexpected and wonderful. Someone came into my life, who had always been there, just in the _

_background. Despite his laziness and sluggishness, it was refreshing to have someone adore me_

_for a change. _

_He brought happiness and color into my life. Color that I didn't even know was missing._

_After awhile I couldn't picture my life without him. When he asked me to marry him, I didn't _

_hesitate in my acceptance. How could I say no to the biggest joy in my life? After you left and _

_my family was killed I didn't know if I would ever smile again, but somehow Shikamara brought _

_hope into my life and a reason to smile again. _

_Than three months before my wedding you came home. Revenge complete, and _

_satisfaction etched into your features. You seemed lighter, like the person I always knew was_

_buried deep inside you. There were angry people, and there was punishment of course (which in _

_my opinion was a little on the lenient side) but overall everyone was overjoyed to have you home. _

_I was too, I just couldn't face you. Even though I'm stronger, I was afraid I would do something_

_humiliating, and I didn't want to annoy you. _

_Now here I am one month before my wedding, and I'm still avoiding you like the plague. _

_I wish I could talk to you. Even though our conversations were pretty one-sided I knew you were _

_listening. I still care for you. I don't think that ever went away, it was just pushed aside. Now _

_I'm getting to the main point of this letter. _

_I just want to apologize if my affections were ever an inconvenience to you. I would also _

_like to thank you, because loving you really shaped the person I became. Strong and _

_independent. I don't know if I'll ever be strong enough to speak to you face to face, but I _

_wanted you to know that if you came to my wedding I'd really like that. You were an inspiration _

_to me, and I hold you in the highest regards. I'm glad you were able to find your happiness, even _

_if I had nothing to do with it._

_Best Wishes,_

_Sakura _

Sasuke placed the letter down on the end table by the couch. He felt like someone had put hundreds of pounds of weight on his chest. He couldn't ever remember feeling like this. He could hardly breathe. A single tear ran down his cheek. After a few moments of panicked breathing he began to calm himself down. Thousands of thoughts were rushing through his mind. He had no idea that her feelings for him ran that deep, he like most, thought that they were just surface emotions with nothing underneath them. He couldn't have been more wrong. Her heart must have been breaking everyday when they were young, and yet she always kept up a cheerful facade. When had her parents died? How strong had she become? How could she remain so positive when her world had come crashing to her feet?

He picked up the papers again and stared at the words. They were beginning to blur, but one phrase stood out at the moment, _"…but I wanted you to know that if you came to my wedding I'd like that._" She was getting married. She was getting married in one month. She was getting married in one month to Shikamara Nara.

At this point he remembered the other item in the envelope. He pulled it out, opened it up, and felt like crying as he read,

You are invited to join in the union of

Sakura Haruno

To

Shikamara Nara

On the twenty-first of December.

One month, she was getting married in one month. He felt sick to his stomach, and couldn't stop the irrational feeling of surprise that she didn't wait for him. She had told that she loved him more than anything when he left. She had said that she would do anything for him. Maybe on some subconscious level he assumed that she would be waiting to welcome him with open arms when he completed his quest. That was unfair to her though. He had probably hurt her more than anyone had ever hurt her before. It was well in her right to fall in love with someone else and move on.

But wait, she hadn't mentioned anything about loving Nara in her letter, all she said was that he brought happiness to her life. That could be a million other emotions besides love, and she also said that she still cared for him and had never stopped caring. Perhaps there was still time for him to make things right. Not with everyone, but with Sakura at least. She needed to know the truth, the truth he had kept from her since they were children. With those thoughts floating through his head he began searching his apartment for a pen and some paper.


	2. The Response

Chapter 2: The Response

Sakura came into her office with her boxed lunch. She sat down with a sigh of relief, she had just finished making her rounds and it was time for her break. She had a lot going through her mind. She had an experimental medication in the research stages that would cure many types of poison, she had a wedding to finish planning in one month, and through it all in the back of her mind was Sasuke.

She knew that she shouldn't be thinking about him, she knew she should be focusing on Shikamara and the wedding, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was old habits, but deep down she knew it was because she was in love with Sasuke Uchiha. She always had been and probably always would be. She knew however, that despite any residual feelings she had for Sasuke, she had responsibilities. She was a grown woman, and she owed so much to Shikamara for helping her through the harder stages in her life.

While she was getting lost in her thoughts, there was a knock at her door. "Come in", she said. A young nurse walked in, and said, "Hello Ms. Sakura, you have a letter that was left at the front desk." With that the nurse handed Sakura an envelope, and proceeding to leave the room. The envelope was blank except for the sole word "Sakura" written on the back. She didn't recognize the hand writing, but for some reason it gave her goose bumps. She stared at it for a few moments before curiosity got the better of her, and she began to read:

_Dear Sakura,_

_ This is a little weird for me; I don't really remember the last time I wrote a letter to _

_someone. Not that I really would have had the time. Now seems as good a time as any, because_

_until I'm allowed to start training again I've got nothing but time._

_ I guess I'll start by saying thank you. It really was good to hear from you. I was worried_

_for awhile that something had happened to you. There I go again always underestimating you. I_

_should know by now that you're intelligent enough to take care of yourself._

_ I'm sorry I made you feel like you were a burden when we were younger. The truth is _

_that back than anything that wasn't related to my clan, my brother, and my strength felt like a _

_burden. Don't misunderstand me; I had some good times with you, Naruto, and Kakashi-sensei, _

_but I could never be at peace until I settled the score._

_ Now that I've completed my goal, I don't really know what to do with myself. Revenge _

_was my sole motivation for such a long-time that I don't really know anything else. I'm happy, _

_but incomplete. Does that make any sense? I'm pretty sure to you it does, you were always wise _

_beyond your years. I guess I need to find a new purpose in life._

_ I wish you would come and see me, but I understand why you won't and I will respect _

_your feelings. I can't explain it, but I really want to talk to you. There is so much I'd rather say _

_in person than on paper. Its just strange being around everyone else except you. It's almost like _

_I've stepped into the past and there's a huge chunk missing._

_ I understand that I've caused you so much pain, and I'm sorry for ever hurting you. Of _

_all the people in the world, you were the last one I wanted to feel despair. I'm happy that you _

_have found peace and contentment in your life. No one deserves it more than you, except for _

_maybe Naruto. He seems pretty content lately too, its amazing what he love of a woman can do_

_to a man._

_ Despite my joy at your happiness, I can't promise I'll attend your wedding, because I'm_

_still working out how I feel about that. If I don't go it's not because I don't care, it's because I'm_

_selfish, and I never really thought of a world where you didn't belong to me._

_ If anything I hope that one day we can at least be friends again. I may not have shown it _

_when we were younger, but I really enjoyed our conversations. They were my link to the real _

_world. I was so focused an avenging my past, that even for a few minutes it was nice to put my_

_ambitions to the side and just live. If you still can't bring yourself to come and talk to me, keep _

_writing. I'd like to get to know the woman you've become._

_ If you'd prefer not to write either, I can't say that I wouldn't understand. You were _

_unable to count on me when we were children, and you may be skeptical about putting your_

_trust in me now. All I can say is this, if you do, you won't regret it. _

_ Best Wishes,_

_ Sasuke_

Sakura placed the letter down on her desk, and than placed her head in her hands. Against her will the tears began falling. She didn't know if they were tears of joy for the fact that after all this time here was proof that Sasuke cared about her, or tears of despair for she knew her stable life was about to be turned upside down. She wanted to find him this minute and throw herself into his arms. She wanted to pour out all the love she had been carrying inside for the past six years and forget about the rest of the world.

Too bad it wasn't that easy. There was too much at stake to just give in to her foolish fantasy. Life was cruel. How long had she dreamed of this moment? Now it was staring her in the face, and she was at an impasse. A few years ago she wouldn't have hesitated to follow her heart, but times were different. One thing was certain. She definitely couldn't face him now. She would just fall to his feet and forget about every responsibility in her life.

She sat there for a bit before she came to a decision. She wouldn't go see him, but she would write to him. She wanted to tell him all about her life, all about her journey to becoming an adult. In turn she wanted to know about him. She wanted to know how he had gone from the cold, aloof adolescent to the man in the letter more open to his feelings. With that last thought she grabbed a pen and began writing, her lunch sitting next to her forgotten. 


	3. Reflection

Chapter 3: Reflection

Sasuke entered his apartment with his arms full. He had just come back from the market with items to restock his kitchen. His apartment was very large. It had three bedrooms, and each bedroom had its own bathroom. It had a living area, a dining area, a kitchen and a half bathroom. It really was too large for someone living on their own, but at the time it was one of the only places available at such short notice. Anyway it was only temporary while his family home was being redone. He was actually quite hesitant to move in when the modifications were done. He wasn't sure what his reaction would be.

As he made his way to the kitchen he was reminded of a time that Sakura had invited him over to her house for dinner. To this day he still couldn't understand why he was agreed, but he didn't regret it. He discovered that her family was warm and generous. It was apparent where Sakura developed her personality. Her parents made him feel welcome and didn't ask him uncomfortable questions. All in all it really was a nice evening. In fact, it was probably the nicest evening of his whole life since the slaughtering of his own family. Thinking of the death of his parents made him wonder what had happened to Sakura's own. Were they murdered? Was there some sort of accident? He really wanted to know, but he was afraid to ask someone.

After he had put up the groceries, he went to the living area to sit down. He was restless; he wanted to be out doing things, helping the village, and making up for his absence. On the plus side he would be able to begin training again in two weeks. The elders would also decide at that point whether he would be allowed to test as a jounin, or if he would have to start over as a genin. He really hoped he could jump straight into the jounin exams, but if they made him start all over again, he would take it with a grain of salt. After all, deep down he felt he deserved it. In fact his sudden return had been met with surprising leniency. Perhaps they were grateful that he had given up on his quest to destroy the village. Whatever the reason, he couldn't complain. He was home and he was satisfied.

When he finally shook his thoughts away he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already well into the afternoon. He decided to go for a walk to clear his mind before he returned to make dinner. He stepped outside and as he turned to lock his front door he noticed another envelope taped to it addressed to him. His stomach began to do somersaults, and his palms got sweaty. It was strange how it felt almost like an adrenaline rush. The only time he experienced that was in the excitement of battle. He took the envelope and made his way back into the apartment. Instead of entering the living area he made his way to the dining room table. He pulled out a chair, sat down, opened the envelope and began to read the letter.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I won't lie; I was very surprised that you wrote back to me. It was a pleasant surprise though. I appreciate the thought and effort; it only proves how much you've changed for the better. Don't get me wrong, you weren't a horrible person before, but your people skills left something to be desired. It's nice to know your not carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders anymore. Nobody deserves to live like that._

_I have so much that I want to tell you. Years and years that are just bursting to come forth, but I don't know where to start. I don't really want to tell you about the tough times, because you might feel bad, but at the same time you really wouldn't understand the person I am now without the tough times. To be fair I will tell you everything (within reason) a little bit at a time. I'll wait for your response after each letter before I write you another one. Perhaps overtime we can become friends and talk in person like regular people, until then you are going to have to bear with me._

_I'll start at the beginning after you began your journey. I was pretty much inconsoleable for a few weeks. I just went through the motions of living. Sometimes I wouldn't get out of bed all day. I finally snapped out of it when I realized how much I was worrying my family and friends. I still felt distant, but I made an effort to continue living. I had a new hope in the form of Naruto, he swore he would get you back at any cost, and I believed him because when he sets his mind to it he usually succeeds. It was disheartening when he came back empty handed every time, but I knew he would never give up._

_During this time Tsunade became Hokage, and she took me under her wing. I took the opportunity to learn as much as I could about fighting and healing. It was the chance of a lifetime. I always found it ironic that you, Naruto and I were trained by the three legendary saanin, but maybe it was destiny. Anyway I don't think you actually learned much from Orochimaru, he doesn't seem like the "teaching" sort. Not that your strength and abilities aren't impressive, but you probably would have become just as great on your own. You never needed Orochimaru's help; you just needed to believe in yourself like everyone else did. _

_After a year Ino and I became even closer. She was like the sister I never had. Our petty fights seemed pretty insignificant after you left. Than she began dating Choji, and our old rivalry just dissolved. She always did understand me like nobody else could. I guess being a female she could relate to my dilemma. _

_I began reflecting on my past behaviors, and it was a rude awakening. I guess I just didn't see what a fool I was making of myself. I'm surprised I wasn't the butt of all jokes. I was blinded by my affections for you, and at the time I couldn't see what a pest I was being. You called me "annoying" countless times, and I still didn't get the hint. After realizing this I couldn't be angry with you anymore about your treatment of me as children. You still were pretty harsh though, for future reference you may want to handle an unwanted crushee with a little more finesse. I also realized that our situation was the same situation with Naruto and me, only reversed. I began treating him differently that day. I didn't encourage his advances, but I let him know that I loved him in my own way._

_Things changed between us after that. He became one of my most trusted confidantes, right behind Ino. Little by little he helped me to see my own worth. He made me realize that I was a person with feelings and emotions and I deserved to be treated with respect. I began to be more vocal about my opinions; I was slowly coming out of my shell. I was able to put thoughts of you to the back of my mind and focus on what was important; everyone that was precious to me and my training._

_All good things don't last though, experience has taught me that much. Things were about to go downhill for me again. It wasn't just one incident, it was a series of occurrences that I almost didn't make it out of. I'll leave the explanation for my next letter. Remember I'll only keep writing as long as you keep writing. If you stop responding, I'll assume it's because you don't want to hear from me anymore._

_Sincerely,_

_Sakura_

Sasuke put down the letter and sat for a time. He was resisting the urge to hunt her down, and pour out his heart to her. It wouldn't be fair for Sakura though. She has her life in order and doesn't need him coming in a disrupting everything, no matter how much he wants to see her. Of course he would be writing back. He wanted to know everything about her. She seems so wise now. It really is amazing how time can change people. In his case he knew he was a better man, and from what Sakura had written him she appears to be a better person as well.

They both became better people without each other. Maybe that's what was supposed to happen. Maybe he was supposed to break her heart so she would be able to stand-up on her own. Maybe he was supposed to hurt her so that all those years on his difficult journey he would remember her face and hope to never see it with such pain again. That still didn't excuse his treatment of her before he left. She may have forgiven him, but he would never forgive himself. There were times when he would treat her the way friends are supposed to treat one another, but there were more times when he treated her like dirt. To this day he still couldn't understand why he did it, but he supposed he was afraid.

He sat at the table for a few more minutes, before he decided to take the walk he had planned on earlier. He wanted to write back to her right away, but he thought maybe after he cleared his head he would have better luck with what he wanted to say. On that final thought he grabbed his apartment key and set off.


	4. Relapse

Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them.

AN: To girlalicious, I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but I will tell you that Sasuke and Sakura will talk face-to-face at some point.

Chapter 4: Relapse

Sakura walked through the woods humming softly to herself. She had no destination in mind, she just felt that she needed to leave and get some perspective. It had been almost two weeks, and Sasuke hadn't written back. The logical part of her mind knew that this was probably a good thing, because having him in her life would just complicate matters, but the part that still felt Sasuke hung the moon was crushed. She was angry at this part of herself, because it meant that no matter how hard she tried she would never be able to completely forget about him. It meant that despite how much she had matured there would always be a little part of her twelve year old persona hanging around, making things difficult.

It was a beautiful day. The wind was gently blowing, spreading the fragrance of spring. The buds were opening to reveal their beauty, and everywhere across the horizon signs of new life were prevalent. The scenery should have soothed her, helped her get her life on track. The only thing it was making her feel was finding Sasuke and pouring her heart out to him. The only thing stopping her was Shikamara. As much as she still loved Sasuke, she also was in love with Shikamara. He was with her through all the tough times, and he deserved all the happiness in the world, and despite her lingering feelings for Sasuke she wanted to be apart of his happiness. She knew she was being selfish and illogical, but she couldn't help it. It had been such a long time since she had felt so much at once that it was a little overwhelming.

After about an hour of wandering and mental debate she decided to head back to the village. It would be night soon and she didn't want to worry anyone. When she was about five minutes away from the village she stopped. She could hear someone not to far away, and it sounded like they were training. Normally she would just keep walking and pay no mind, but for some reason her curiosity got the better of her. She began walking towards the sound. For some unknown reason every step closer to the sound made her more apprehensive. She didn't want to disrupt anyone's training, but she still wanted to see who it was, because most ninjas do their training in the village boundaries. She jumped up into the trees and decided to keep going, but at a stealthy pace. It took a few minutes, but she finally discovered the source and her heart stopped when she realized who it was.

It was Sasuke. Deep down she felt that she probably already knew it was going to be him. Part of her wanted to leave right away before he noticed her, but a bigger part and ultimately the part she listened to wanted to stay and watch for awhile. He was as beautiful as she remembered, maybe even more so because his face held a wisdom that had not been there in his younger years. His moves were smooth, almost like he was moving under water. Sweat poured off his body, and determination was etched on his brow. It there were ever a moment she would want to freeze in time and save forever it would be this one. She watched for a few moments more, before her thoughts and feelings began to be too much for her to handle. She left in a flash, and ran the rest of the way home. Her heart was racing and her stomach was in knots.

By the time she reached her apartment she had calmed down, and the logical part of her brain had taken over again. She kept telling herself that it was useless to feel anything for him because she was getting married in two weeks, and he obviously wanted nothing to do with her since he hadn't written back. She grabbed her mail from the box, than she let herself into her apartment. She headed toward the kitchen to grab something to eat, while she sorted her mail. When she reached a certain piece she stopped. It was a blank envelope with no addressee on it. Butterflies began swirling in her stomach, because she knew who it was from without even opening it. She dropped the rest of her mail on the floor and sat down in front of her cabinets. Slowly she opened the envelope, took out the papers and began to read.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write back to you. In all honesty I've started about a hundred letters, only to get frustrated midway and scrap them. I hope you don't think that I don't want to talk to you, because I really do. I just have trouble expressing myself sometimes (but you already knew that huh?). Tsunade gave me the okay to begin training yesterday. I wanted to start right away, but my mind wouldn't let me go until I wrote you something. I think I'm having so much trouble finding the words to say, because I want it to come out perfect. Your last letter really moved me, and as cheesy as it may sound I want you to feel the same when you read these words. _

_For days I sat and pondered on what I could say to you that would possibly mean anything. I thought about revealing what I went through these past few years, since you were sharing your time with me, but than I realized that those are times I'd rather forget. I'm not proud of the person I became, but at that point it really seemed like the only option to get the job done. I could tell you about the person I am now, but I'm still getting to know him myself. I thought of telling you about the person I'd like to become, but than I realized that as much as you may hope things will turn out a certain way, they usually don't. Than I remembered how cold I was before I left._

_I was here, but really only physically. I went through the day to day motions like I was expected to, but I never let anyone in. I had thoughts and opinions, but I kept them locked inside. What I'm getting at is since there aren't too many happy times in my past; I want to let you know what I was thinking during the times that were good. I'll start with the first day of ninja academy._

_I was five years old, and I was feeling apprehensive. I had a lot to live up too, because my brother Itachi was a gifted genius, and everyone was expecting me to follow in his footsteps. All I really wanted to do was run around like crazy, getting dirty and having fun. The first day was a disaster, everyone thought I was weird, and all the girls in class kept gawking at me. It made me feel so self-conscious. When we were allowed outside to play I really wanted to join the other boys in their games, but I was too shy to ask, so I hid behind a tree and observed. I noticed you right away. It would be impossible not to notice pink hair. The kids were teasing you, and you were crying. I wanted to go out and help you, but I was afraid. By the time I had built up enough courage to go to you, Ino had beaten me to it._

_Sometimes I think about how different our relationship would be if I had just gone over and talked to you. I guess things worked out for the better though, because you found a friend for life. Truthfully when I look back most of the time I am disgusted with myself. I was weak. I could barely stand on my own feet, how could I expect to help anyone else? _

_Another memory I often find myself going back to is when Naruto, Kiba, Shikamara, and Choji were getting lectured by Iruka-sensei. I wanted to be apart of their fun so much. I wished that I could slack off and just be a kid, but that would have been unacceptable for a member of the Uchia clan. I called Naruto a loser numerous times, but I never really thought he was. I think deep down I was jealous. I was jealous, because he seemed so free. Even when everyone was making fun of him, he oozed confidence and knew that no matter what people said he would attain all his dreams. It's funny that what I was most jealous of, ending up becoming what I respect most about him. _

_The day that it was announced that we would be a part of team 7 I acted annoyed. The fact of the matter was that I was a little excited. I had the two most interesting people in my group. Naruto may have been a goof, but he always had something up his sleeve, and you were the smartest female. Since I'm being so honest I may as well admit that you were easy on the eyes too. All the male shinobi would agree to that. I was cold and aloof, because I never wanted you guys to no how much I really depended on you. It would have been a sign of weakness, and after my clan had been slaughtered weakness was unacceptable. Now that I'm older I realize I had it wrong. Having people you care about, and who care for you in return doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. I guess in that sense Naruto was a more intelligent ninja than me. _

_It's funny that I had so much difficulty deciding what I would say to you, because now that I've started the thoughts just keep pouring out. I'm going to come to a close here though, because I want to leave some thoughts for my next letter. Yes, I'm going to keep writing to you. Even after you get married, and if Shikamara doesn't like it he's just gonna have to deal with it. I'm sorry I didn't realize how precious you are until it was too late. You really are so very special and I'll take you in my life in whatever capacity you'll let me have. I hope to hear from you soon, and I promise it won't talk me two weeks to get back to you._

_Sincerely,_

_Sasuke_

Sakura finished the letter, closed her eyes, and let out a soft sigh. The butterflies that had made themselves at home in her stomach earlier were back, and were not going away anytime soon. It was almost too much to handle. First she sees Sasuke, discovers that he's even more handsome than ever, and than this! She laughed bitterly to herself at the cruel nature of the universe. Just when it seems like she can finally have Sasuke in the way she always dreamed of, she's unavailable. She must have really been a tool in another life.

She knew that she could end it all, by not writing back. They could make a clean break, and pretend that none of this had ever happened, but even as she was thinking that she knew she couldn't do it. Sasuke was like a drug, and no matter how hard she tried, she could never quit. She knew that she was just complicating matters more, but she couldn't help it. In her mind she reasoned that she wasn't leading him on and nothing would come of it because they were just two friends reacquainting themselves with one another. Too bad that even as she was thinking that, she knew it was a lie.


	5. Cause for Hope

Chapter 5: Cause for Hope

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I saw you today. You were training in a clearing in the forest. It's a little pathetic how in that moment I felt twelve years old again, pining away for you like some sad little puppy trying to obtain the prize just out of reach. I wanted to run to you and than hold me in your arms and tell me everything would be okay, as time stood still for us. I almost lost myself and called out for you, but just as quickly as those irrational thoughts came to me, reality set in just as fast. I remembered that I wasn't that desperate little girl starved for affection anymore. I remembered everything I went through since you left, and I was able to reign in those emotions and run away in the opposite direction._

_It's a bit weird don't you think? Did you ever think I would reach a point where I was able to control my emotions and do the sensible thing? Time really does change people, and experience makes you wiser. I wonder how much you've changed. You seem so different, and that's only from what I observe written on paper. _

_You must have seen so many horrible things. How did you do it? How were you able to turn a blind eye and allow those atrocities to occur? There must have been some small part of your old self that still understood right and wrong. I don't mean to lecture or judge, but I want you to know that in your quest for revenge you became just as ruthless as Itachi. I'm sorry I know that it is not my place to try and make you feel guilty. I'm sure you have enough to last a few lifetimes. I'm going off subject anyway, because I'm supposed to be telling you about me._

_I think I'm trying to deflect because what I am about to tell you is the most painful part of my past. I don't really know how to go about presenting the information, so I guess I'll just get it over with. After things were beginning to look up for me and I started feeling like a real human again I decided it was time for me to start taking being a ninja seriously. I began training like crazy, using every opportunity available to get stronger. I accepted every mission that came my way, even if I was exhausted._

_During this time Naruto was out doing everything in his power to get stronger. I didn't get to see him for a long time, but we kept in touch with letters. I guess that is where my affinity for the written word developed. Everyone was so shocked at how unbelievably strong he was upon his return. Not me though. At that point I had learned never to underestimate him in any context. Looking back I think I always knew he had the potential to become something incredibly special. That's one of the reasons I was such a brat to him when we were little. I was jealous. I was jealous of his drive and determination. Mostly I was jealous of his ability to take criticism and rise above it. Harsh words used to knock the wind right out of me. Anyway I'm getting off the subject again, so let me get back on track._

_One night after a particularly difficult mission I returned to find the village in a state of panic. At first I thought we were under attack. I prepared myself mentally for battle and began searching for the source of the commotion. I followed the screams and cries to my side of town and my heart stopped. All of the buildings in my neighborhood were engulfed in flames and the fire was spreading rapidly. It was pure chaos. Women were screaming, children were crying and almost every ninja left in the village was trying to put out the flames. Their efforts were in vain though, because no matter how much water they used the flames just kept going. My observations spanned the length of a few seconds before I began to act. I began looking for my parents and younger brother. I searched everywhere, and asked anyone I came across. No one had witnessed my family leave the house. _

_At this point my rational side flew out the window. I was not thinking clearly as I made my way to my front door. There was fire everywhere, and deep down I knew that there could not possibly be any survivors, but I didn't care. I tried to get inside, but someone held me back. I don't remember much after that because someone had given me a sedative. All I remember are the dreams. I dreamt about happier times when our team was whole and everything was right in my little world. The dreams would all end horribly. Someone would die, or leave and life would never be the same._

_When I finally woke up I was informed that my family had perished. I didn't know what to do. I'd never experienced pain and emptiness of that magnitude. I once told you that if you left it would feel the same to me as being alone. Obviously I was naïve and stupid. I didn't understand the meaning of loneliness, until I was literally alone in the world. My family was gone, my closest friend was far away, and you were gone. I think this was where I finally understood some of what you were feeling. I'd like to apologize now for not being a good teammate and not empathizing with your situation. Instead I bombarded you everyday with unwanted emotions and affections. I'm sorry; I was pretty selfish in those days._

_After the funeral services I didn't speak for weeks. I just didn't trust my voice and I was sick of crying. I decided it would be better if I just turned my emotions off, so I couldn't feel anything. I was numb for months. All I did was train and fight. For awhile I went after the rogue ninjas who had destroyed my family, but I realized that revenge and the thought of revenge left a bitter taste in my mouth. I would just be bringing myself to their level. Not to knock you in anyway, I have come to learn that everyone handles tragedy differently, and my situation didn't hit as close to home because I never knew the ones responsible for my families demise. I decided that I would dedicate my life to saving people. This is when I began to train as a medic ninja. I was gifted in that area, it came naturally._

_Once again I began to throw myself into missions, but this time I was trying to avoid the pain that loneliness brings instead of rejection. Shikamaru came into my life at the perfect time. I was at my lowest and feeling that I had no reason to live. I never considered suicide, but it would have been an easy way out. Everything that I had ever loved in my life was gone. Even Naruto was gone, because after awhile the letters stopped coming. _

_It started slowly. He began training with me, accepting missions with me, and walking me home in the evenings. I found it a little odd that he was going out of his way to be around me considering how lazy he's known to be, but I didn't look into it that much. He would do all the talking and I would kind of half-listen. After awhile he started showing up at my apartment and inviting me places. Most of the time we would just lie in the grass and watch the clouds, and he would talk. It doesn't seem like much, but his presence was soothing and I began to love his voice. The tone put my mind at ease, and with each word that came spilling out of his mouth the wall that had developed around my heart began to chip away._

_One day I finally asked why he wanted to be around me so much. He smiled the most genuine smile I've ever seen and said, "Because you have such a calm and beautiful soul, and I'd do anything to see you smile again." I was floored. I couldn't remember a time that anyone had ever said something that wonderful to me, it had also been years since I had received a compliment since Naruto was gone. Needless to say it brought a smile to my face, and we were inseparable after that._

_There were still days when the pain was almost too much to bear, but he helped me through them. Little by little I found reasons to smile. I began to look forward to seeing him, and I missed him terribly when we were on separate missions. For the first time in a long time I was genuinely happy. When he asked me to be his girlfriend I didn't even have to think about it. It was bliss most of the time, but I'd be lying if I said I never thought of you. As much as I adore him, I don't think I'll ever feel for anyone what I feel for you. _

_It's a horrible thing to say, and I feel rotten for even thinking it, because he found me and put me back together and took me away from the darkness. I'll admit that when he asked me to marry him I hesitated. The little fool inside of me who had never left finally spoke up. She reminded me that there was still a part of me that was hoping you would come home someday, realize you couldn't live without me, and ask me to marry you. I hope this doesn't freak you out, but sometimes I think about what our children would've looked like and it makes me smile._

_I shouldn't discuss things of this nature, because it is inappropriate. I've promised myself to another man, and I am nothing if not a woman of my word. He may not be you, but he does have one thing going for him that you never will, he loves me. He loves me because I make him happy and I love him because he makes me happy._

_You know, you coming home has really thrown a wrench into my life. Sometimes it all I can do to keep myself from hunting you down and clobbering you. Other days, like today, I have to exercise all my self-control to prevent myself from throwing myself at you. I want you to really understand why I can't see you right now. I just don't trust myself around you, and my reaction today only re-enforces that fear. There is still quite a large part of me that wants you, despite the fact that I am in love with someone else. You are like a bad habit that I just keep falling back into._

_If this is too much information for you I apologize, but now that the words are flowing I can't seem to make them stop. Must be all those years of repressed emotions getting the better of me, but I need to get it off my chest. Maybe this will all be too much for you and you'll never want to see me again. That would probably be best for everyone._

_Anyway, since this may be my last letter to you, because I doubt you'll be writing back, I may as well tell you about what is going on in my life now. Work is good, and I love what I do. I don't accept as many missions as I used to because I prefer to spend more time at the hospital healing people. I used to enjoy the thrill of being out in the open during an assignment, but nothing compares to saving someone's life. It really is exhilarating! People finally depend on me for a change. Last week I was able to save a man who had been poisoned. His little boy gave me a kiss and told me I was his hero. I can't even begin to describe how amazing that made me feel._

_Don't get me wrong, things aren't always a walk in the park. Sometimes there are situations where not matter how hard I try and how much I put in, I can't save them. Those days are beyond painful, but the good definitely outnumber the bad. _

_Shikamaru has been sent on a difficult mission. He's going to be gone for quite awhile, so we decided to postpone the wedding for a few months. He leaves in about a week. I'm really going to miss him. I'm also a little conflicted with how I feel about postponing the wedding. There's a part of me that is disappointed because I'm ready to be married and would do it tomorrow if it was feasible, but there is a bigger part of me that is relieved because now I have extra time to think about the commitment I am making. I am such a bad fiancée. I swear though that when we are married I will do everything in my power to make him happy and be a good wife to him. He deserves no less. _

_I have to go now. I'm due back at the hospital soon. I guess this is goodbye as well. Despite our rocky history, I wish you nothing but happiness, and I'm glad that you came home and can start over._

_Best Wishes,_

_Sakura_

Sasuke put the letter down with a smirk on his face. He knew he shouldn't be feeling so smug because of all the pain she had been through, but he couldn't help it. Despite everything that he had put her through she still loved him, he just knew it. He still had a chance, and he was going to exhaust every opportunity to make her a permanent part of his life. It may not be the honorable thing to do, especially since Shikamaru wouldn't be around to protect his interests, but he took this a sign. Fate was removing his biggest obstacle towards his happiness.

He now understood that Sakura was what was missing in his life. If she would accept him again it would make everything that was wrong in his life disappear. It would make him forget about the merciless path he took for revenge. He needed to see her, even if she wouldn't didn't want to see him he had to see her. At least from a distance, and it was only fair because she had seen him hadn't she?

He would see her than he would begin planning how to try and make her forget about Shikamaru. The saying, "Alls fair in love and war" began to take on a whole new meaning in his mind. With that last thought he set off in search of his happiness.


End file.
